Another special day for dads is coming up, and I’m proud to say that in the 22 years we’ve been together, my sons have done a remarkably good job of coming up with Father’s Day gifts I can really use.
Thus far, I’ve never had to “mysteriously lose” any gift Anthony and Chris have given me. You know what I’m talking about: Three weeks after Father’s Day (or any gift-giving holiday), the I’ll-never-use-this present you received is somehow swallowed by the Dumpster Monster; then you never mention it again, and hope the kids forget they gave it to you.
I suspect there’s been a “guiding hand” behind some Father’s Day gifts Anthony and Chris have given me, and if you follow the “guiding hand” all the way up, it’s attached to their mother. But that’s cool — lots of us used to rely on mom for Father’s Day suggestions. Heck, some of y’all still do!
Regardless who came up with the idea, my guys have established an impressive record for giving Father’s Day gifts I would actually want and treasure.
If my fluctuating memory is working, I don’t recall the boys ever getting me:
- Underwear. Never buy underwear for someone else unless you’re a mom or you’re a young guy in love and you purchase something from Victoria’s Secret your equally young-and-in-love girlfriend, live-in or wife has said is acceptable. (And when you go shop for those dainties, be sure you have her correct sizes branded on the palm of your hand!)
- A tie. It’s not escaped notice in our family that I wear a tie about twice a decade, and the only ones I’ve received in the sons’ lifetimes were selected and purchased by their mother.
- Tools. I’ve already got three toolboxes crammed with hammers, wrenches, pliers, thingamabobs and doodads, some of which I don’t even know the purpose for. Plus, the boys realize when home repair is needed, I invariably call their Uncle A.J.!
- Cologne. I only use one brand — when I run out, Karen buys more. It’s that simple.
- A “Kiss the Cook” barbecue apron. (I’ll only travel so far into dorkdom — and those aprons are too far!)
- Ballgame tickets. My guys know I spent 25 years as a sports writer and I continue to cover sports in my multi-tasking job at the Waurika News-Democrat. Over the years, I have attended six kazillion sports events, so going to a ballgame is not high on my list of Dad’s Day wants.